Michael and I walked through years of wanting to grow our family before finally conceiving our first confirmed pregnancy. A few months later, we learned the pregnancy was not viable and we lost our baby. When I think about “patience in grief,” it’s hard not to think about this time in my life. A time when we HAD been patient, we had trusted in God’s timing despite our sometimes desperate desire to grow our family, only to be met with loss in the next step of our journey?! I was confused. Frankly, I was deeply discouraged, unsure if I could go forward and take the next step on this path that God knew was mine. Sometimes discovering what God knew was our journey all along can feel that way—discouraging. We rely on the Lord to arrive at the next place that sometimes feels like the wrong place.
The Bible emphasizes patience during grief, highlighting God's presence and comfort for those who mourn. The pain of loss is one of the greatest pains in this world—in my opinion. A pain I believe God never wanted for us. A pain that breaks His heart. In this broken and excruciating experience we walk this side of heaven, which is grief, we do have a helper. We can find strength in God’s promises, comfort in His people, and hope in His Holy Spirit who comes alongside us to hold us.
"The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit" Psalm 34:18.
Jesus wept and God sits with us in our mourning. He offers healing and restoration to those who look to Him.
In the face of grief, it’s quite common to feel like the world stops spinning. We get disoriented, unsure of what’s happening and how to move forward from where we find ourselves.
As I’ve sat with the Lord in prayer about this topic of “patience in grief,” this is where my heart keeps being led to: grief is not something that can be fixed. We cannot go back to where we were because grief is the result of love we were forced to say goodbye to. God encourages us to “mourn with those who mourn” (Romans 12:15) and to sit with one another, supporting each other in grief. God also invites us to trust Him, that He will bring good from dark places. Just as we are required to be patient to start to see “good” from grief, God offers an abundance of patience to us as we navigate the unthinkable.
While I still would have written my story differently, because if I could take miscarriage away from this world so no one else ever has to experience it I would, living that has taught me things that God will not let go to waste. I have an awareness of how to sit with people in the way a few sat with me, and I have experienced an even greater endurance when pregnancy and motherhood can seem so challenging because of my experience.
- Psalm 147:3: "He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds."
- Romans 12:12: "Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer."
- Isaiah 41:10: "Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."
- Revelation 21:4: "He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away."
God encourages us to find peace in His presence while we grieve. In the moments things cannot be “fixed,” He offers comfort because of who He is. He is unchanging and He is near. We can acknowledge pain and sit with one another while also believing in His promise that He is a God of comfort, healing, and restoration.
God, help us to believe these things about you to be true in our darkest moments. Send your Holy Spirit to surround us, giving us supernatural experiences of your presence. We love you. Amen.
- Britt Goff #wheatfulwednesday