BE single. BE dating. < BE still.
I seek you with all my heart; do not let me stray away from your commands.
Psalm 119: 9 – 10
Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.
Ecclesiastes 4: 9 – 10
Single? Dating? Married? Where do we begin? – With Christ, of course!
It is so important for us, as devout women of Christ, to understand whether single, married, or somewhere in between, we are defined by our Savior. There are many societal pulls on women to BE single or to BE dating, but I am here with you to declare that we can BE still and trust God’s sovereignty no matter what our relationship status is.
To my single friends,
Singleness can feel unique. It can sometimes feel lonely, causing you to question your self-worth. Please don’t. This is a special time for you to study, learn, and truly get to know Who we serve. We serve a risen Savior that longs to use you as powerful vessels, but cultivation takes time.
As I reflect on my time of singleness, I can share with confidence that I have fought to go deeper in my understanding of what it means to live according to the Word of God. Now, this does not mean that there have not been days that I’ve questioned why I’m single. I think that is normal for most women to do. We were created with an innate desire to have companionship. Often, I am forced to reflect, however, on Ecclesiastes chapter 3, for truly “There is a time for everything and a season for every activity under the heavens…” When the time is right, our forever perfect and on-time Savior will provide all of our needs according to His will. Never lose sight of that.
“How can a young person stay on the path of purity? By living according to your word. I seek you with all my heart; do not let me stray away from your commands.”
Psalm 119: 9 – 10
When you read Psalm 119: 9 – 10, what does it mean to you to ‘stay on the path of purity’? To me, this meant “how can I serve Christ with my entire heart facing Him in sincerity – whether I am single or in a committed relationship?” Reflect on what that looks like for you.
To my dating friends,
Dating is beautiful. Relationships are powerful. God did not call us to do life alone. Dating pre-marriage or in marriage should be an asset to where you are in fulfilling your purpose. I consider myself blessed to watch many of my good friends bask in the sweetness of companionship. Many of the relationships I observe strengthen and build-up. I believe that truthfully “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.” Ecclesiastes 4: 9 – 10
There are several definitions of dating, but this definition stole my heart:
“So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. God blessed them and said to them, ‘Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky and over every living creature that moves on the ground’” Genesis 1:27 – 28
WOW, the power God has given and placed over relationships. We should not take this lightly.
Both singleness and dating have the potential to be a time of uplift or time of detriment to us fulfilling our purpose, making it imperative that we stay connected to the True Vine. “For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” Ephesians 2:10
No matter your relationship status, worshipping with all of our hearts should be the ultimate focus.
Our relationship with Jesus is going to do several things for us:
- It will create in us a pure and dedicated heart to serve Christ and others.
- It will direct us towards the right people and away from the wrong people.
- Protect us from the tactics of Satan as he attempts to attack singleness with thoughts of isolation, and the bonds of dating as we attempt to preserve the purity of marriage.
- Our relationship with Jesus will continue to push our growth and ultimately the growth of those around us because of His reflection through us.
Single? Dating? Whatever space you are in today, allow your definition to always be found in Christ Jesus. Live life according to the Word of God, for truly “the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.” Hebrews 4:12
I love each of you and know that I am praying Christ’s deepest protection over each of your hearts!
Meet the Author:
Mariah Howard is a second-year graduate student at Abilene Christian University-Dallas. She is studying to become a speech-language pathologist and hopes to impact lives through the power of communication. She believes in the power of having a voice that is deeply rooted in the purpose Christ has placed within each of us. Mariah loves basking in the sweetness of the Savior with other chosen women of God. Mariah loves connecting and sharing her journey of life in Christ with others!
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