She's a better christian than me
“Each one should test his own actions. Then he can take pride in himself, without comparing himself to somebody else, for each one should carry his own load.” - Galatians 6:4
She’s a better Christian than me.
Her business is so inspiring. I could never be that successful.
Why can’t our marriage be as happy as theirs?
Look at her home; it’s perfect!
They must make way more money than we do to afford that home and their cars.
Do words like these ever cross your mind? While the sin of comparison has been around for a while (hello, commandment #10), it’s become more prominent in the age of Instagrammable moments and Pinterest-worthy homes.
My husband and I recently went on our first ski trip together, and I quickly learned how much time I waste comparing myself to others. While struggling to ski down the mountain without the help of the pizza technique, I asked my good at everything groom to watch me and help diagnose why I couldn’t ski with parallel feet like ‘everyone else’ (i.e., what felt like every six-year-old at the resort). After watching me, his coaching was summed up like this: “you’re so busy watching what everyone else is doing and taking your eyes off your own skis, that you end up throwing yourself off balance and falling.” The second I stopped being content in my path down the mountain and started comparing myself to the people who ski more often than I do, I struggled.
This isn’t just true of me in skiing. It’s sometimes how I feel as a professional, wife, friend, athlete, millennial, and woman of God. We get so caught up in looking around and comparing ourselves to highlight reels, progress photos and stories further along on a journey that we miss our own moments of joy and growth. How often do we lose heart in our life because we look at what someone else has? We lose the joy of learning a new skill from a coworker because we pridefully don’t want them to think we’re not as smart or seasoned as they are. We miss our husband’s act of kindness because we’re comparing him to our Instagram friend’s spouse that just brought home flowers for no reason. We forget about our body’s progress in doing two more pushups than last time because we get sidetracked by watching someone’s seemingly effortless workout.
While contentment is a moving target, I believe it’s something we can achieve if we actively seek it every day by keeping our eyes on our own skis. What would it look like for us to keep our focus fixed on Christ in OUR story and grow into confident, secure, content women?
Weekly Challenge: Make a list of the things you covet or ways you compare yourself to others. Pray and ask God to show you tactical ways to remove those temptations, and to give you the strength to keep your eyes fixed on your own journey.
-Jantzen Miller, recovering perfectionist and comparer.
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