Trusting God in Singleness and Dating

July 22, 2020

Trusting God in Singleness and Dating

While singleness and dating mean different things when it comes to relationship status, one component they both actually have in common is they bear a root called perspective.

Tell me, what’s your perspective of your current dating status? 

Are you wrestling through being single?

Are you wrestling with a relationship God has made clear you need to let go of, but find yourself in denial and holding on for a miracle of hope? 

Do you find that you’re forcing yourself through opportunities to feel seen in the dating scene?

Do you find that you’re forcing yourself to hold on to a relationship you know isn’t life giving?

When we think about forcing something, the driving factor is because whatever we are doing or waiting on is not working — drastic times call for drastic measures, right?


Maybe you’re convinced if you just hold on, or make a plan to find that person on your own, it will eventually become something fruitful and something that can grow. 

But tell me, would God say it’s so? 


“I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful... If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. If you do not remain in me, you are like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you.” John 15:1-3, 5-7 (NIV)


I've learned that singleness and dating are both part of a growth process. Part of that process is allowing The Lord to work His pruning. While it may be painful, there’s a reason He’s asking you to let go because pruning is what makes room for thriving healthy growth. 

When vines are not pruned they end up spiraling out of control and can actually inhibit their growth because they choose whichever direction they please. When we defy the direction The Lord is calling us to grow into, we lose our way and can become trapped and entangled by our own hearts’ desires. As the scripture says, if we don’t press on to remain in Him, which means including in His time and His ways, we will wither away. 

“There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death.” Proverbs 14:12 (ESV)

If you are pursuing a relationship or trying to fight off disappointment of singleness in ways that don’t glorify Him, does it even give any life then? 

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness” Galatians 5:22 (ESV)

Sit down, in a quiet place, and in prayer ask Him to reveal the root of your perspective in your season of dating or singleness. 

Where’s your heart?

Is it entangled in fear of being alone? 

Is it entangled in the idolatry that keeping or gaining a relationship will allow you to become happy? 

Maybe, He’s calling you to surrender by laying down the shears you’ve been gripping for life to; so that He can pick them up to prune you -- to grow into a healthy place or even protect you from what may break or burn you if you forced it. We cannot bear a fruitful relationship without our branches first secured and submitted to Him.

My prayer and challenge for you is that your heart will find perspective that just maybe your “no” from Him is to encourage you to grow within. 

@rhiannamarie24 #wheatfulwednesday

Rhianna Marie Mitchell is the author of “Faithfully Fervent: Standing Firm as a Woman of God in a World Ready to Run”. Rhianna is a pediatric registered nurse and is passionately following her calling into ministry by radically pursuing her mission to mirror God’s vision. Her mission is to help bring hope and healing through her testimony. She will fiercely fight to empower people to know Christ and believe in His incomparable power to transform and save. Find more about Rhianna at

Join us at our next Wheatful Woman Event, in our online community and enjoy our tools in the shop!
Photo credit: @ashiamosleyphotography

Also in Wheatful Woman Blog

Give us strength to persevere
Give us strength to persevere

March 22, 2023

Today, when we find ourselves overcomplicating, overthinking, overdoing, and striving, ground us in your truth, God. Give us strength to persevere in the things we’re working towards this year, but remind us often of what really matters. Keep our eyes fixed on you when distractions come our way. Help us to not miss the dozens of opportunities you’ve given us today to practice love with the people around us. Help us to make space in our lives to experience your love first today and as your lo...

View full article →

Postpartum "must haves" for mama & baby

March 19, 2023

Some of my favorite things I didn't know I needed the first few weeks postpartum. I pray this helps one expecting mama out there (or a friend or family member looking for the latest things to help during newborn life!) to have something she didn't know she needed in the crazy of those first few weeks with your newborn!

View full article →

Today's Climb
Today's Climb

March 15, 2023

Lord, we all find ourselves facing obstacles and challenges today. We’re all trying to figure things out and find ourselves failing and falling often. Help us to see the rocks before us today as opportunities. May we confront them today with confidence as we experience your grace and goodness in them. Help us to extend grace to those around us, too, knowing that everyone is facing their own “climb” today. Thank you for reminding us that we’re surrounded by fellow rock climbers and are not al...

View full article →