Do you struggle with people pleasing or wanting others to like you?

July 17, 2019

Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.

– Galatians 1:10


I was scrolling through my Instagram and had a thought, “I haven’t seen her on my Instagram in a while. I wonder why not?.” That thought prompted me to learn that a girl from an old small group unfollowed me at some point, which lead me down a rabbit hole of seeing who from that same group of past acquaintances chose to no longer be my friend on social media. My stomach turned in knots as I realized how many people had already unchecked that big, bright Follow button. I eventually stopped the detective work of destruction, but the situation lingered in my mind over the next few days. “Why don’t they like me?”

These are obviously people I’m not close to or doing life with, so why should I care? I wish I could honestly say that I never waste time or energy on thoughts of approval, but this kind of situation isn’t new. I’ve always been a massive people pleaser, and it’s always bothered me when people don’t like me, even when it’s someone I’m not close to at all. But the older I get and the more I learn about the theme of popularity in the Bible, the more I realize that we were never meant to win the approval of all people.

Take the author of Galatians, Paul, for example. I know it seems like I’ve been on a Paul kick lately, but there always seems to be a lesson to learn around one of the greatest authors of the New Testament! Not only was Paul disliked by the legalistic Pharisees and Jewish authority, but there were times when he also rubbed his fellow followers of Christ the wrong way. And when you read through Acts and the books He authored, you can see why! The guy was blunt, quick to call out hypocrisy, and when it came down to it, he wasn’t afraid to face conflict. But above all, Paul’s number one focus was spreading the Gospel and doing the will of God. His identity was rooted in Christ alone. In his mind, nothing else mattered, not even popularity or winning the approval of others. Did he love others and work to serve them the best he could? Yes. Did he let the desire to be liked consume him? Absolutely not.

What if we lived our lives with the reckless abandon to love and serve others without getting caught up in the desire to want them to approve of us? What if our goal was to stay connected to God - whose approval we already have - and allow the changing tides of popularity to wash in and out without taking us out to sea with it? Oh, what a life that would be! And sister, we can have that life because we have spiritual mentors in the Bible like Noah, Daniel, Paul, Mary, and most importantly, Jesus, who have already shown it can be done.

There are going to be people, heck, even fellow Christians who aren’t our fans. We’re going to lose followers on social media, people we consider friends will plan parties and events without us, people may disagree with our beliefs or actions, and we may feel the loneliness and stings of rejection when we find out we’re not liked by someone else. While it’s not ideal, it’s real life. But if our focus is on pleasing God, doing His will, and doing the best we can to love and serve others, we can learn to be content with the fact that we may not win the approval of everyone.

Challenge: Do you struggle with people-pleasing or wanting to be liked by everyone? Read these specific stories of Noah (Genesis 6:11-22), Daniel (Daniel 6), Paul (Acts 9:18-22), Mary (Luke 1:26-38), and Jesus (Mark 6:1-6) and how they turned their focus on doing God’s instead of worrying what people thought. Ask the Lord to fill you with the discernment, courage, and intention to seek Him above the approval of others.

________________________________________________________________________

Jantzen Jolly-Miller is a small business marketing professional and freelance faith writer who is on a mission to help women get real: real with themselves, with their business, and with their relationship with God and His church. In addition to being the lead content writer for Wheat and Honey Co., she blogs about personal takeaways from her life and faith walk to help women create positive change in their everyday routines at JantzenJollyMiller.com






Also in Wheatful Woman Blog

Give us strength to persevere
Give us strength to persevere

March 22, 2023

Today, when we find ourselves overcomplicating, overthinking, overdoing, and striving, ground us in your truth, God. Give us strength to persevere in the things we’re working towards this year, but remind us often of what really matters. Keep our eyes fixed on you when distractions come our way. Help us to not miss the dozens of opportunities you’ve given us today to practice love with the people around us. Help us to make space in our lives to experience your love first today and as your lo...

View full article →

Postpartum
Postpartum "must haves" for mama & baby

March 19, 2023

Some of my favorite things I didn't know I needed the first few weeks postpartum. I pray this helps one expecting mama out there (or a friend or family member looking for the latest things to help during newborn life!) to have something she didn't know she needed in the crazy of those first few weeks with your newborn!

View full article →

Today's Climb
Today's Climb

March 15, 2023

Lord, we all find ourselves facing obstacles and challenges today. We’re all trying to figure things out and find ourselves failing and falling often. Help us to see the rocks before us today as opportunities. May we confront them today with confidence as we experience your grace and goodness in them. Help us to extend grace to those around us, too, knowing that everyone is facing their own “climb” today. Thank you for reminding us that we’re surrounded by fellow rock climbers and are not al...

View full article →